Granny’s Blog

Lord show me someone to bless today ....God is good. all the time All the time....... God is good ......

Friday, July 6, 2018

Grief......... one of lifes many journeys



We never know what today might bring


  For so many people it may be the day of  the dreaded phone call.
             The call that changes your life as you know it forever. 
 My phone has rang many times with life shattering news as have many of you experienced
now I am entering or am in the  snowflake years of my life. ( The winter of my life).
If we live long enough we all experience these life changing calls. 



The  desire of this blog has always been to connect with and reach out to help someone 
if it's only one person ..........walk with them through some of  these difficult  life changes. 
This blog started  out Many many  years  ago to be a travel blog....'
It still is.  
 A life travel into another season of life.  
The travel has changed. 
It's a travel now of working through life's walk day by day. 
Thankfully I have a very strong faith and my faith has carried me. 




The cry of my  last few years has been.  Lord please help me.  
My cry has been my husband's very  last words. 
Help me!!!!!!
Help me!!!!!!
I have cried  out many times.   And still do.   
Lord help me !!!!        

I can't do this alone.  HE has assured me iam never alone.  

As I sit and reflect back on the last 19 months.
 I will search and  gather my scribbles'
     ........ my notes 
My tear stained album

You are invited to walk with me on this journey of pain , of love 
and promise...........
 on how God has reveled to me that ..........  He has been and always will be there
. To hold me up. To hold you up.........
 To bring us peace love and courage to go on !
He is........Always holding my hand..Picking me up as I fall down.  
Thank you Lord 


Labels:

Friday, December 9, 2016

Your time........




Dec 9th 2016............................
                      my life changed forever.

We were together 45 years   9 months     1 day 
My husband went home to be with the lord.

Was only 3 months 3 days from his diagnosis of 

             Lung cancer. 

He was a gift.............a blessing
My life will never be the same. 

I  know that the Lord has a plan for me 
                 there must be more for me to do.......

  I always thought we would be a "Notebook" story......
                     go together. 
              But that was not God's plan....
                
    its important for me to
                    Spend time with God everyday....

God is more important than  .......... 

    anything else...

RIP Larry Jay Swaim
                                  till we meet again
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️   







Labels:

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Rainbow garden

The corner... it really looks better than this picture.
But it has a long way to go to be spectacular.
any suggestion out there?
Posted by Picasa

Labels: ,

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Our Son Paul


October 1, 1966-September 15, 2001 EOW
Posted by Picasa

Labels:

Monday, October 15, 2007

Sept 15 Happy Heavenly Birthday Paul




A Photo of Paul that my friend Janet gave to me she laminated Paul's picture on to a rainbow....

October 1, 1966-September 15, 2001-
Paul's heavenly 6 Th Birthday
This is the day that the Lord Has made let us Rejoice and Be glad in it... was the song I woke up singing today. This is a worship song that we have not sang in years...and it was on my mind the very first thing when I opened my Eyes up today....
This to me Is Paul's day.....
A rather long story of rainbows......
Rainbows
Rainbows have always meant so much to me...They are so awesome. The many colors of life. Some are bright yellow and happy colors ,and then there are the very deep blue color that may make us think of very blue day. Or times when we are blue. This beautiful rainbow has always meant to me the combination of all the colors of our days and our lives and that God has left a convent to us. There they are all the colors bunched into the colorful rainbow that makes up the colors of ones life. For some reason it would not be quite as beautiful if it would have been all one color..say all yellow or all blue..
Six years ago today our family's life changed for ever in a moment. This was the week a lot of lives changed forever. 5 Days after 911. Our son Paul, was taken out of this world in a heartbeat. God in His Mercy in Paul's case took him home right way.There were no times for Goodbyes, No fair wells. No extra I love yous. As a mother over the next year there were thoughts that I would never survive such grief. The hole in the heart was so big it was even heart to breathe. the very few days that follow now seem like a blur,and thought survival was not possible. Having others sons and seeing there hearts breaking was also more heart breaking. My husband and I grieved totally diff..... it pulled us more apart over the months then finally back into each others arms for comfort.
Now the story of the Rainbow....
I call it Paul's rainbow to me....
I had been praying continually for a sign that everything was alright. Paul was OK. Although I knew in my heart he was. About a month or two after Paul's died my friend Karen came to my house and said I was going for a ride with her no choice... she pulled me out of the house to go with her to pick up a birthday present, it had been a raining, then the sun was coming out. Going into town the most beautiful rainbow came out and she said this is your rainbow your sign, it is for you..... it is a sign you have been waiting for ....by the time we had returned home with many tears on our face. there were calls on the ans machine saying " Did Ya see it???? The Rainbow the awesome rainbow.??? You had to have seen it ...it was just for you.....Everyone who saw the rainbow was telling me it was just for me...A sign from Paul he was OK.... This was just the beginning ....

Written on an Amtrak train....rolling over the hills coming home, another sleepless night from the Memorial service held for our fallen Officers Killed in the Line of Duty
thoughts on
Washington DC
Capital lawn was great, seeing the president was great, but seeing God at the candle light vigil had to be one of my greatest moments ever. The winds and storms of the evening threatened to delay the memorial candle light ceremony. 18,000 people were waiting for the ceremony to begin, when the most beautiful double rainbow appeared out of a cleared, stormy sky. . it was indescribable the feelings that fell over the crowd.
The COPS had this most beautiful laser thin line going through the sky but nothing man could have prepared could ever be like this. God in His glory giving us all a site to behold. It was awesome.

Over the next 6 years we would see rainbows and find such comfort in them and they always seemed to appear just we needed them most.
Now back to the present........
Last night we were at a friends house for dinner it was a typical UP fall like weather. Rain, sun, talks of Frost . After dinner when we were leaving . My husband was taking things to the truck and he called to me and said quick come over here to the door and to come outside and look. This was one of the most spectacular Rainbows we have ever seen... the amazing this is it ended right in our friends yard. The end was right there, you could see and you could have ran out and put the bucket down.....it was truly the end of the rainbow...and. for one fleeting moment my husband and I both saw the double.rainbow...it was only for a few seconds.
Now some would say this is a coincidence but I don't believe in coincidences......it was our sign....Everything is all right.
I hesitate to tell my story as some may say where is my rainbow, my sign...... believe me it is there. You have to look for it..... For some people we know it has been looking down and finding a pennies from heaven..
All we know God is Good all the time.
now we have came to the place where we are so thankful that we had Paul in our life as long as we did. Not everyone gets 33 years.
We don't have to try and fig everything out...I tried.It is exhausting and can not be done. ...... But the one thing we do know is that..
God is Good .........all the time.
Today we are having a lunch at 1:00 of everything Paul liked to eat. Paul died at 1:08..... A lot of the family will be here. There may be a few tears but the one thing I know is there will be laughter. Paul was a clown..
so today it will be Hamburgers, French Fries, and choc chip cookies ,choc milk( our family comfort food) thats what will be on the menu.....and it will be truly be a day God has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it.....
Photos from Paul's life on link below

Labels: ,

Happy Heavenly Birthday Paul




A Photo of Paul that my friend Janet gave to me she laminated Paul's picture on to a rainbow....

October 1, 1966-September 15, 2001-
Paul's heavenly 6 Th Birthday
This is the day that the Lord Has made let us Rejoice and Be glad in it... was the song I woke up singing today. This is a worship song that we have not sang in years...and it was on my mind the very first thing when I opened my Eyes up today....
This to me Is Paul's day.....
A rather long story of rainbows......
Rainbows
Rainbows have always meant so much to me...They are so awesome. The many colors of life. Some are bright yellow and happy colors ,and then there are the very deep blue color that may make us think of very blue day. Or times when we are blue. This beautiful rainbow has always meant to me the combination of all the colors of our days and our lives and that God has left a convent to us. There they are all the colors bunched into the colorful rainbow that makes up the colors of ones life. For some reason it would not be quite as beautiful if it would have been all one color..say all yellow or all blue..
Six years ago today our family's life changed for ever in a moment. This was the week a lot of lives changed forever. 5 Days after 911. Our son Paul, was taken out of this world in a heartbeat. God in His Mercy in Paul's case took him home right way.There were no times for Goodbyes, No fair wells. No extra I love yous. As a mother over the next year there were thoughts that I would never survive such grief. The hole in the heart was so big it was even heart to breathe. the very few days that follow now seem like a blur,and thought survival was not possible. Having others sons and seeing there hearts breaking was also more heart breaking. My husband and I grieved totally diff..... it pulled us more apart over the months then finally back into each others arms for comfort.
Now the story of the Rainbow....
I call it Paul's rainbow to me....
I had been praying continually for a sign that everything was alright. Paul was OK. Although I knew in my heart he was. About a month or two after Paul's died my friend Karen came to my house and said I was going for a ride with her no choice... she pulled me out of the house to go with her to pick up a birthday present, it had been a raining, then the sun was coming out. Going into town the most beautiful rainbow came out and she said this is your rainbow your sign, it is for you..... it is a sign you have been waiting for ....by the time we had returned home with many tears on our face. there were calls on the ans machine saying " Did Ya see it???? The Rainbow the awesome rainbow.??? You had to have seen it ...it was just for you.....Everyone who saw the rainbow was telling me it was just for me...A sign from Paul he was OK.... This was just the beginning ....

Written on an Amtrak train....rolling over the hills coming home, another sleepless night from the Memorial service held for our fallen Officers Killed in the Line of Duty
thoughts on
Washington DC
Capital lawn was great, seeing the president was great, but seeing God at the candle light vigil had to be one of my greatest moments ever. The winds and storms of the evening threatened to delay the memorial candle light ceremony. 18,000 people were waiting for the ceremony to begin, when the most beautiful double rainbow appeared out of a cleared, stormy sky. . it was indescribable the feelings that fell over the crowd.
The COPS had this most beautiful laser thin line going through the sky but nothing man could have prepared could ever be like this. God in His glory giving us all a site to behold. It was awesome.

Over the next 6 years we would see rainbows and find such comfort in them and they always seemed to appear just we needed them most.
Now back to the present........
Last night we were at a friends house for dinner it was a typical UP fall like weather. Rain, sun, talks of Frost . After dinner when we were leaving . My husband was taking things to the truck and he called to me and said quick come over here to the door and to come outside and look. This was one of the most spectacular Rainbows we have ever seen... the amazing this is it ended right in our friends yard. The end was right there, you could see and you could have ran out and put the bucket down.....it was truly the end of the rainbow...and. for one fleeting moment my husband and I both saw the double.rainbow...it was only for a few seconds.
Now some would say this is a coincidence but I don't believe in coincidences......it was our sign....Everything is all right.
I hesitate to tell my story as some may say where is my rainbow, my sign...... believe me it is there. You have to look for it..... For some people we know it has been looking down and finding a pennies from heaven..
All we know God is Good all the time.
now we have came to the place where we are so thankful that we had Paul in our life as long as we did. Not everyone gets 33 years.
We don't have to try and fig everything out...I tried.It is exhausting and can not be done. ...... But the one thing we do know is that..
God is Good .........all the time.
Today we are having a lunch at 1:00 of everything Paul liked to eat. Paul died at 1:08..... A lot of the family will be here. There may be a few tears but the one thing I know is there will be laughter. Paul was a clown..
so today it will be Hamburgers, French Fries, and choc chip cookies ,choc milk( our family comfort food) thats what will be on the menu.....and it will be truly be a day God has made, and we will rejoice and be glad in it.....
Photos from Paul's life on link below

Labels: ,

Monday, October 8, 2007

Summer Weather



89 here at about 1:00..pm but look out...........the big change is on its way.

Allergy suffers are smiling the big killing frost is on its way.
Maybe Jen will get snow for her birthday????? We will have to wait and see.

On a sad note a good friend in our Prayer Shawl group her daughter has died. Our thoughts and our prayers are with her and their family. Losing a child has to be one of the most painful things a mom and dad can go through. Please keep her and family in your prayers. Mom's name is Linda.

God is Good ....................All the time


Labels: , ,

Monday, October 1, 2007

Paul

Monday, October 01, 2007



41 years ago today, one of the biggest blessings a mom could have entered this world

. A beautiful little boy....he looked like a Paul ,and so he became

 a tiny little ...... Paul Bryan Grahovac..... was born.

 He was such a gift. But a gift that was taken away to soon.

 He has been gone from our site for 6 years now. But never from our heart.

We never know how long we get to have these gifts.
Life is a true gift. All our days are numbered. one thing for sure..... dying it is something we are all going to do....
so today lets live life to the fullest. Hug those we have with us....and say the I love you's.

In the depths of loss, sadness and heartache we take comfort in these words from I Thessalonians 4:13-18

13Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. 14We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18Therefore encourage each other with these words.

Labels: ,

Monday, April 15, 2002

7 Months without You April 15 2002


7 Months without Paul
written by a mom 7 months after her sons heavenly birthday
How can a mom put into rhyme
Of a hole in her heart that’s their all the time
Her child is gone
His Spirit did fly
Away from her arms
No time for goodbye
The tears fall so easy
Down her cheeks they do flow
The heartaches so often
The pain doesn’t go
The trees aren’t as green
The sky’s not as blue
Jokes aren’t so funny
In life without you
He changed many lives
His life was so real
He was well worth the cost
Of this pain that I feel

Labels: